Read Time: 7 minutes
As Christians, our personal testimony can be a powerful tool and amazing gift to bring glory to God and help others learn from our experiences and mistakes.
When we are willing to be vulnerable and transparent about our deepest and darkest sin, God will use it to show His love and His redeeming grace. He will use it to show that even our worst mistakes can be used to honor Him and serve others.
But in the church today, there is certain sin that seems to be “off-limits.” There is sin that is avoided by pastors and is treated as so abhorrent that it can’t even be talked about. There is sin that some believe can’t be forgiven, because to them, forgiving the sin is the same as condoning the sin.
In many churches, that unspoken sin is abortion.
However, just because the church doesn’t talk about abortion doesn’t mean the church is immune to it. In fact, surveys show that most people who have abortions claim a religious affiliation, and many were regular attendees at church when they had the abortion.
That means someone that you sit next to every Sunday likely has abortion as part of their story.
But still, we stay silent on the issue and fail to help those in our own churches who are either struggling with a past abortion or wrestling with how to handle an unexpected pregnancy.
Avoiding the subject is not the answer. It’s that simple. And that’s why I want to share my testimony about how God has used a horrible mistake in my past as an opportunity to glorify Him now.
We Found Ourselves at Planned Parenthood
For 17 years, I had my head down.
I was building my own company and was working 60 hours per week. Any time I wasn’t in the office, my wife and I were at the church we had helped start in our community. And for years, we poured everything we had into that business and church.
Then in 2010, everything began to change all at once.
That summer, I sold my company and started a consulting business. The church we had spent years investing in split up. And my wife and I realized that after so much time spent ministering to and serving others, our marriage had become strained and needed a tune-up. That’s when we decided to schedule an appointment with a Christian counselor.
I’ll never forget the moment we closed the door to the counseling office during that first appointment. All the sudden, my wife began to cry uncontrollably.
I had honestly never seen her like that. And all I could think was that either our marriage was in much worse shape than I thought, or there was something underneath the tears that we had never really talked about.
Throughout that first session, we began to peel back the layers of what was behind the tears. As we did, we discovered that it all went back to a decision that we made before we even got married – the decision to have an abortion.
Just months before our wedding while we were engaged, we found out that we were pregnant. Like so many couples who face this situation, we had no idea what to do. As we were searching for answers, we ended up taking some bad advice and found ourselves at a Planned Parenthood clinic. And a week later, we went through with an abortion and took the life of our daughter.
For 17 years after that day, we didn’t talk about it.
We didn’t talk about it with our friends, our family, our church, or even each other. We buried it away. And until that day in counseling, we had no idea the damage it had caused and was still causing in our marriage.
God’s Calling
That same week, God began to lay the foundation of how He would help my wife and me heal and use our story to bring Him glory.
That week, I was introduced to Human Coalition and given a business card with a link to their website. I was told that the organization was trying something new and ambitious: using innovative internet marketing strategies to rescue children from abortion.
Right from the beginning, I felt the pull from God. I took the business card home and kept looking at it and praying, “God, what are you doing?” How was it that 17 years after my experience with abortion, God was bringing this organization into my life? What did it all mean?
As I continued to pray and walk through this season of life, I began to see what God was doing. I started to personally see the devastation that abortion could cause. I started to see the bigger picture and impact of abortion nationwide. And I couldn’t believe that as Christians, we were not doing everything we could to rescue the next child from perishing.
I knew then that God was calling me to help. God was calling me to stand in the gap for vulnerable moms and dads and provide them with the hope they need to choose life. God was calling me to be part of the mission that Human Coalition was pursuing. And if I didn’t take the step of faith and act, I would regret it for the rest of my life.
Using the Pain
In the weeks and months following that first counseling appointment, my wife and I worked through the decision we made, asked the Lord for forgiveness, and started the process of healing.
For me, the healing came through my work with Human Coalition. After my initial introduction to the organization, I started meeting with the team regularly and was eventually invited to serve on the board. Finally, in 2012, I took the leap and started working full time with Human Coalition.
Today, it’s been about 10 years since that first counseling appointment. My wife and I are still married. We have four kids. We are actively involved in our church and community.
We know that we’ve been forgiven. And yet, the pain never goes away. To this day, we still think about our fifth child who should be here with us.
But we are using that pain to lean in and invest in the mission to end abortion. And we are using that pain to help ensure others don’t make the same mistakes we did.
Will YOU Stand in the Gap?
The British abolitionist William Wilberforce said, “You may choose to look the other way but you can never say again that you did not know.”
The harsh reality is that many Christians know the devastation that abortion causes. Many Christians know that thousands of children are dying in abortion clinics every day. Many Christians know that there are people hurting and struggling with their past decision to abort.
But many Christians also choose to look the other way.
As I reflect on the circumstances that led to the decision my wife and I made, I desperately wish there would have been someone there to encourage us to bring our child into the world. I wish there would have been someone there to give us some perspective. I wish there would have been someone who could have connected us to an organization like Human Coalition.
My question for you today is simple: Will you stand in the gap to love and care for someone when they feel like no one does? Will you walk alongside them?
Thousands of moms and dads are struggling every day with the same decision that my wife and I faced. They need someone to meet them where they are. They need someone to show them that they can choose life.
Additionally, there are countless more who are struggling with a past decision to abort.
As Christians, we must recognize that Jesus came to Earth to meet us where we are and save us from all our sin. Jesus was not silent in His objective to forgive all those who come to Him. He didn’t condone the sin, but He did forgive. And there is no sin that can transcend the redemptive grace of Christ.
If no sin is unforgivable to Jesus, that means no sin is unforgivable for us – even abortion. We should follow Christ’s example and walk with those who have abortion in their story through forgiveness and redemption.
Don’t choose to look the other way. Choose to show love and compassion. Choose to walk alongside your neighbors. Choose to stand in the gap.
It is very heartbreaking when I listen news about babies in news and articles. I don’t understand how they make themselves ready for this decision.
Babies are the gift of nature nobody has the right to do abortion if they can’t protect them then it is better to use the protection
Dear Jeff, I don’t know that anything I have to say will give you any comfort. When I was growing up and was ready to graduate from high school, my best friend who lived across the street was a year ahead of me. Se had been going to college to… Read more »
I also made a poor choice many years ago and have struggled with the aftermath of that decision.I am now volunteering @ Pregnancy Resource in Moline Il.
When my husband and I were dating we were not saved (born again through the shed blood of Jesus Christ). He had been raised in church. I had not. We were sexually active with each other. We loved each other. Then I discovered I was pregnant. He had been raised… Read more »
Believe me, I understand the guilt associated with abortion. Though I never personally had a abortion, I feel guilty in knowing others who were considering abortions and at the time I could not dissuade them. These women were dear family and friends. I wish I had been equipped to change… Read more »
Thank you for this testimony. It’s so true, the pain never goes away even after repentance and forgiveness but God does indeed use that pain to help others.
I have worked since 1969 to educate people on the truth of the horrendous effects of abortion on the unborn babe, their Mums and Dads and the destruction of the family. This is the greatest evil of our time. I still use every opportunity to get the information and advice… Read more »
Hello there. Our church speaks often about abortion that it not being allowed by God. I am on the side of of the Human Coalition movement. Keep up the good wrk
There are the forgotten victims of abortion also. They are the grandparents who found out about the grandchild they will never hold on this earth, years later. There is guilt, the feeling that they failed the young couple, that they did not feel they could come to them. The pain… Read more »
Well said, especially now that I am a grandmother of twelve. I often think about my three babies aborted in the early eighties. Nine years ago, my son and his fiancée was pregnant and she wanted to abort but he didn’t. I was able to share my experience with them… Read more »
When we look into GOD’S Word we see that JESUS had great compassion for the “sinners”. In fact He said that that was the reason He came to earth. We as the Church should be as loving and compassionate as our SAVIOR . Thank for sharing
Amen, because all have sin and all are in need of a Savior! In God’s Old Testament Laws, when we disobey one we disobey all! So, shouldn’t we just believe the New Testament that we are saved by Grace and when we believe and receive Jesus as Lord and Savior,… Read more »
Thank you, Jeff! Will be praying for my part in this heartbreaking problem ♥
Thank you for sharing your testimony. Bringing into the light that when God decides which egg and which sperm would unite for His creation, anyone involved in an abortion decision is affected. I work for a pregnancy center and we offer a 12 week program called Hope & Healing. Throughout… Read more »
The Almighty is able to bring good out of our sinful messes. When a woman told me of her abortion after I was teaching on the subject in church, our church ended up starting the Bowie Crisis Pregnancy Center in the early 80s. then the 13th in the nation. That… Read more »
Thank you for sharing your testimony. I have lost several grandchildren to the horrors of abortuaries as a result of the choices made by the mothers of these dear children in a time of stress., confusion, misleading information and shame. I ache for the parents of the sons and daughters… Read more »
Dear Jeff, You are truly using your devastation of losing a life and bringing about greater good for God’s Glory. I pray for the Holy Spirit to lead you and your family on the path of holiness. May you know the Merciful Love of God and the tender Love of… Read more »
Thank you for sharing something hard that had a grip on your marriage. I am glad you know the Lord. My first wife was told by her boyfriend to have an abortion. I married her and later divorced. My daughter is 36 years old. I met her biological dad 3… Read more »
How right you are. I pray that this organization will make a great impact for the Lord and for hurting Christians.
Your story was very moving. I think of my aborted child every January, when the baby was to be born. I aborted at 6 weeks.
My pain is a pain no one can explain unless you have aborted a child.
My experience was with my daughter. Though it was totally against every fiber in me I supported her. meaning I loved and consoled her after. I never shamed her, what good would that do. She, however was never the same. It ruined who she was and she began torturing herself.… Read more »
What a great post! How can I help in my community??
My story is one of Salvation and of the greatest love I have ever experienced through Our Lord Jesus Christ. I was a young, spoiled, and very selfish woman, it was many, many years later that I started to realize just how far from the Lord I was. I told… Read more »
Check out Support After Abortion. They can direct you to many resources
Thank you for sharing your story, I am very moved. I will share this with others and plan to make a donation to the Human Coalition as soon as I can. THANK YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU ARE DOING. God is blessing and working through you and your team.
This was very impactful to read. How Great is the love of Our Father in heaven! May the Lord guide each step as you and your wife join in a powerful force of love to serve the brokenhearted. I am a mother of five children and a strong advocate for… Read more »
God bless you both
I am part of pro life movement in my Catholic church you can not be Catholic and be choice. Abortion hurts the whole world. God heals and forgives If your sins be red as scarlet I will make them white as snow. God forgives you his mercy endures forever
This is the truth. If Christ forgives so should we. Those who have committed this sin are no different, they have to learn to forgive themselves. If God brings someone into your life who needs to know Christ forgives we need to be ready to love them. Show them the… Read more »
Thank you for sharing your very moving story. It blessed me and I will continue to fight for the rights for these precious babies to live through the hope the gospel gives us.
May God bless you and your wife for sharing the reality of how abortion has caused you both so much pain and suffering. It encourages us to continue praying for and being present to those feeling desperate about their pregnancy and not knowing where to turn for help. Thank you… Read more »
Thanks for sharing your story! It is so true! I absolutely agree that what is said to be a “quick fix” to make “it” go away, leaves it’s mark for a lifetime. I am so sorry to hear about your situation. But I love that God has used it for… Read more »
Hello and thank you for sharing your story! The timing was perfect…I (Ruby) have been praying for God to take my life and do something to glorify His name because of my past decisions to abort my three precious babies! Although, my husband (Gene) of 35 years, was not in… Read more »
I have done Pre & Post Abortion counselling in the UK. I trained with Care confidential and volunteered with Quiet waters. My heart is with girls who felt it was the only way out of a crisis situation. Some we may have made a difference to others would continue on… Read more »
Our first abortion was supposed to be in 1973. But my girl friend was was allowed to stay at a Catholic home for unwed mothers and our first son was born in 1974. I was still living at home at that time. So my mother packed all my clothes and… Read more »
Rachel’s Vineyard is a great organization that can help bring healing and wholeness again. You can find more on their website: https://www.rachelsvineyard.org/ I pray that you and your family can find the healing and peace you need to move forward. “Rachel’s Vineyard is a safe place to renew, rebuild and… Read more »
Bless you bless you bless you both. ❤️ I will pray that you find that peace that only Jesus is can give you.
Great words of hope and encouragement! Thank you to show compassion and love to those who fell in the same decision of desperation as you and many of us have fell. Now we know, we would not have done it if we had met our Lord Jesus Christ before. As… Read more »
I have stood in the gap for many years. As post abortive, healed, and worked at a Christian organization doing therapy assisting women work through post abortion issues and be healed by Jesus Christ.
We are already filling in the gap as we pray outside the late-term abortion clinic in Boulder CO. Father Peter did a Mass today outside the Planned Parenthood in Denver. I would like to ask all of Human Coalition if you would be willing to pray for the passage of… Read more »
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I have been involved and supportive of our local pregnancy resource center in Ontario, Oregon, Hope Pregnancy Center. The fate of the unborn is near and dear to my heart, and I believe Scripture is clear that it near and dear to… Read more »
Please tell me how you knew the sex of the aborted baby because as far as I know it’s impossible
After abt 14 wks, dna or obvious organs can identify the baby.
Thank you for sharing story.
Great testimonial. Thank you for sharing.
That was a powerful story and may God bless what you and your wife are doing Thank you
I want to serve. I had an abortion in the 70’s I have overcome thru Jesus. How can I help!! Where are you located??
Since 1973, more than 60 million babies (of those 41 million have been African-American) have been murdered through abortion and countless lives have ended by euthanasia. This is the most tragic holocaust in the history of the world! Some states have even passed laws allowing wounded and suffering infants to… Read more »
My sister conceived at 16. My parents had their first grandchild aborted. I was 13. I hated it then and I forgive them, but I vote prolife. I would like to join the Human Coalition and do something to stop this terrible injustice against innocent lives. Thank you for opening… Read more »
On March 27, 1973 I had an unwanted Abortion. IT was forced upon me by my own Father. IF I had not had that ABORTION my Son JASON ALAN BAYLEN would have just turned forty seven years old. There’s a major hole in my HEART from where his soul was~… Read more »
I have lost 5 children to miscarriage and I still cry for those babies. I could never have an abortion because , first, I’m a Christian, second , it has to be more emotionally painful than a miscarriage. I drove a friend to get an abortion and have regretted it… Read more »
Very powerful story. My heart goes out to you and your wife for the pain and loss you have suffered. Its so good that you are now working for Human Coalition and helping other men and women choose life.
My abortion happened when i was 19. He was my first and i was so saddened when he disappeared after i told him. I was terrified of my parents reaction if i told them, so out of fear, I too went to planned parenthood for counseling. They too gave me… Read more »
I too am a Christian. I was a Christian from the age of 9. I loved Jesus with all my heart. Then I got in the world. I was still living with my parents at the age of 22. I had my first abortion then. They were Christian people and… Read more »
It is a big deal. A real life changer. After an abortion the pain for a couple completely changes their relationship and it usually isnt the same . One or both people involved share a guilt that only God can change. Ask people that are Christians and they will tell… Read more »
God Bless you and your wife so the healing may continue. Your story is an amazing testimony to the redemptive grace of the forgiveness of our Father