Abortion cuts deep in the heart of the mother more than anyone can imagine. It not only scars her physically, but mentally, emotionally, and becomes more personal as the days pass beyond her experience. Abortion causes profound grief in her soul that never disappears; instead, it mostly grows into a painful memory that festers like a chronic, unhealed wound.  

So, where does a mom turn following the unspeakable experience of an abortion, or is she left to bear her burden endlessly alone? Where does she find the strength to rise above the loss when she thought it was the right answer, only to discover it was not? She cries out to someone, to God, “Hold me close, I need to feel alive again” but the pain and emptiness and guilt overwhelm. 

There are few places where a mother can speak openly about the pain of abortion without fear of judgment. That’s why Human Coalition created www.AbortionMemorial.com – a sacred space for honesty, healing, and hope in Christ. 

Human Coalition has provided a simple place where confession is allowed, sin is forgiven, and shame is wiped clean. This website, AbortionMemorial.com, is a haven where anyone can talk to an aborted baby from the depths of their heart, with all honesty and transparency. 

The pain of an abortion can last a lifetime even though forgiveness is offered. 

My Angel Soul 

To my angel soul, I am so sorry, I became the most selfish person in this world. I chose the world first over you. I deserve what I am going through now. My heart is bleeding to see you go. Guilt and tears is all I have left… You will always be that missing piece of my heart and I will always be incomplete without you.  

I’m sorry 

To my unborn angel I’m sorry! I was 16 and confused thinking that taking your life will be my answer. As a mother of 3 I look at my girls and the guilt cuts deep. You should have been here with me. You could have been 18… You were innocent and I was ignorant. I’m sorry! Nothing can change what has been done so all I can do I lean on God and imagine him holding you. Please forgive me. I love you so much baby I’m sorry. 

Even in the most difficult situations, the pain of abortion lingers for a lifetime. 

I am sorry. If only I knew…. 

For years, I have pretended I was ok, but I’m not. My biggest mistake was not being brave enough to carry you forward. I never felt alone in the past. I feel really alone now, there’s an emptiness that can’t be filled… I am sorry for my selfish and rush decision 4 yrs. ago. It was the worst choice of my life.  

So sorry 

I am so sorry. I assumed (wrongly) that what was inside me was a clump of cells that did not resemble a baby. I had a scan, but no one showed or even asked me to look nor listen to a heartbeat. I didn’t even think a heartbeat existed in cells. I felt relieved at first and slowly over the years the guilt comes over me in waves. I regret not giving you life. I hope you can try to forgive me for taking away your life 28 years ago. I love you x 

Some moms justify their abortion yet regret it immensely. 

My darling Pomegranate 

Even though I only knew you were growing inside me for 2 weeks, I felt such a strange and special comfort with every kick and somersault you did at 17 weeks and growing even though I was scared when I found out I was pregnant. I thought I wasn’t ready, and we were scared to bring you into the world knowing we would struggle financially to provide for you, struggle to give you the stability you would need, and we would want to make sure we could give you the world, and unfortunately right now we could not… I promise I thought I was doing the right thing to make sure you didn’t have a hard life… I have never regretted anything so much. 

The plans of life tend to take priority over life itself. 

An abrupt decision… 

At the age of 20 with so much planned, things ahead, expectations, and excitements to life, I in a hurry, abruptly made the decision to terminate my pregnancy the day I found out I was pregnant. Forgive me. My friends drove me to the clinic, then I first saw you. Until your dad rushed to the clinic, it was too late, my procedure had already started; we both cried in the car while I talked and said goodbye to you. Forgive me. 

The baby I never knew 

I am so sorry my child for not knowing how to handle things the right way at 17. I pray to this day that someone would have stopped me, and that some young girl will think twice before doing this. I am almost 60 now and there is not one day that goes by that I don’t regret that stupid decision. If someone is reading this and thinking about an abortion please, for God’s sake, don’t do it, it will be the biggest regret of your life. 

The circumstances of life can drive a woman to abortion, believing she has no other alternative. Yet a majority of moms would choose life if they were offered an alternative. 

I’m so sorry 

I am so, so sorry, I regret it every day and I should have listened to my gut. I could have given you the best life if I believed in myself. Mummy loves you and I wish I could take it all back. 

To My sweet Magnolia 

I never thought I wanted children, that was until the moment I found out about you. The love I feel for someone I’d never met overwhelms me beyond belief. I wish so badly to be your mommy, to be able to take you to the beach and paint your toes, to have your little fingers wrapped around my thumb, to watch you grow into an amazing woman, but I cannot give you what you need… This gut wrenching pain hasn’t stopped since I’ve had to make this decision, it’s like my heart is ripped from my chest, leaving a hole in its place  

Forgiveness through Jesus’ blood is true and complete. 

Matthew Spinning Castro 

Ignorance is not Bliss. 
Breaking God’s Rules is sin. 
Now your face I cannot kiss; 
Heartache repeats again. 

My sin caused your death & pain! 
But I may come to you! 
Jesus’ Blood broke the chain; 
And His Life made me new! 

I love you Matthew, and 
I loved your Dad! 
He was an “Angel” and 
Didn’t know YOU, I had. 

It’s the support of other believers that helps redeem a broken soul and brings about forgiveness. 

Arms wide open 

I am forever grateful for the women that have walked a journey of repentance, forgiveness, and grace with me. A journey that has brought me fully and whole heartedly back to you with my arms wide open. I love you and will see you In heaven, sweet Emme. 

The lies, the deception, the evil that is proclaimed by abortionists takes the lives of innocent babies. 

NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF! We were told “it” was just tissue back then!! 

My ONLY child I’d ever have (I’m 57 & have no children) would be in his or her 20’s now (2021). Back then there was no EARLY sonogram. We honestly believed what we were told, it was tissue at the beginning. I gave myself til the 6th wk. to have my abortion or not.  

I didn’t think I had any other choice.  

That was in the 1990’s & I’ve suffered ever since. I can forgive myself everything, BUT THIS! It haunts me to my core, daily, for almost 30 yrs., & especially after giving my heart to the Lord & realizing how precious EVERY child is! To know I chose to kill the only child I’d ever be able to have is beyond horrific. 

The pain never goes away…. 

Over 40 years have gone by and you are still the greatest regret in my life. I was blind to that fact that you were indeed a living body with a soul and spirit. I was told that unless a baby can breathe on their own they are not a real person. What a lie from the pit of hell. I can never forget or forgive myself, but I take it to the cross and ask for Jesus to cover my sins. Do not let Satan lie to you, that is a life, a precious life.  

My Empty Arms 

My empty arms remind me daily of the terrible thing I did to you, all not knowing. I believed the lie that you were just a blob of tissue, but now I have seen how perfectly you were formed at just 3 months old.  

Please forgive me for letting you be torn from my womb, which ached in emptiness immediately and for days, nothing like the nurses said, at all. I am so sorry I participated in your death. I felt your silent scream as you left my body, the forcing, the horrible sound of that machine and was shocked and horrified to know what I had done to you; I believed their lies, and lies they were, even about the procedure, and that you were not a person yet, when your little heart was beating all along! 

I drowned my guilt and pain in years of addiction, always longing to know you. I can hardly wait for Heaven to meet you. Til then, Beloved. 

How different would her life and her child’s life have been if someone had offered hope. 

To My Baby 

I wish that I had more courage when your father coerced me into that abortion. Would you have been a girl or a boy? Would you have someday been President or find the cure to a deadly disease? I dearly regret my decision that day. If only someone would’ve offered me an alternative, things would be different & you wouldn’t be gone!  

What a difference an ultrasound makes in a woman’s decision. 

No, it wasn’t just a clump of cells. They lied. 

To my son: I have regretted my decision for almost 36 years. I was 11 weeks in, but only thought it was about 8 weeks. When the Dr. told me it had been a boy, the enormity of what I had done was stunning. The regret has deepened over the years. How I wish someone had offered me an ultrasound. I never would have let you go, my precious boy.  

Redemption is real, bringing healing where heartbreak had once controlled. 

Izzy 

Dearest Izzy, though I will never know you on this earth, our Heavenly Father knew you before you were conceived. After years of burying my heartbreaking decision, God brought me to a place of acknowledgement and healing for the horrible choice that I made. Someday I will meet you and hold you. And ask you to forgive me, as God has. 

The influence of the father of the baby is enormous – whether he chooses life or not. 

I was scared to be a shame to my parents 

I quickly looked into Planned Parenthood about having an abortion. I was early enough to have the abortion pill. My fiancé agreed to it because we weren’t “ready”. I regret that decision every single day. I wish he would have given me encouraging words or would have told me everything was going to be okay. I didn’t love my baby enough to fight for them to live! I am now Pro-Life and try to fight for those that are unable to fight for themselves. The pain that is in my heart for that child will never go away.  

Love you forever Matthew 

Matthew I am so sorry we are in this situation. I was in love, and your dad told me right off the bat to “get rid of it” and we were not having a baby. Abortion shot out of his mouth, even though it was my body and should have been my choice. He bullied me, coerced me, blamed me, lied to me- whatever it would take to break me down. He said we had to do this “the right way” and to give him 5 years. He promised. I lost you and he broke his promises to me. 

Abortion brings pain to everyone involved with the loss of a child. 

Siblings Needed An Older Brother 

I think about the whole branch of our family tree that will never be, the grandkids, the great grandkids all that will not exist because we weren’t able to see through the lies and realize we could have you, we could raise you, we could have loved you so easily. I love you and miss you every day and my children feel something missing without ever knowing why. I hope someone reads this and sees how much pain abortion brings to everyone involved.  

The lies and the horrors of abortion turn to years of guilt and pain. Thankfully, forgiveness and redemption can be had. 

Noah Jeffrey Boone 

Noah, this was the worst choice of my life. The doctor told me it would be like a miscarriage. He told me I was 16 weeks pregnant. I had a 2nd trimester abortion and I heard him tell the nurse he measured my water, and I was 5 1/2 months pregnant. It was a horrid day for me and my Noah. Later when I read about 2nd trimester abortions I learned he was brutally murdered with salt solution and he felt every bit of the pain. I tried to take my life because why should I live when he had to be so brutally murdered! God told me to look in the phone book. The first thing I saw was abortion alternative. I didn’t even know who I was calling. It was Boone Crisis Pregnancy. I went there as soon as I could. I had post abortion syndrome and didn’t even know of such. I went for 4 years of counseling. I went 23 years thinking God hated me but, through counseling I learned God loved me and he totally forgave me and so does Noah. I couldn’t forgive myself though, but recently I did just that. Your Mommy! 

To my angel in heaven 

It has been 16 years. I know I am forgiven (by God) but it still very much hurts. A deep scar that I know won’t go away. I wish this was one lesson I didn’t have to learn the hard way. You didn’t deserve that. You were so innocent. Oh it just cuts me deep. I hope you know how terribly and deeply sorry I am. Your Mama 

Choosing personal goals can seem so important at the time, but in the end, they are futile compared to choosing life. 

Sorrow, like love, never ends 

I have never forgotten you. 
The evil that I did against you is always before my face. 
The smiles that never happened, the cries unheard, the life never realized because I thought my life, my goals, my wants were more important than your life. 
I was selfish and murdered you so I could live my life without the inconvenience of you living yours. 
The guilt of innocent blood haunts me. 

If only these moms had the support of caring Christian counselors and social workers who would have encouraged them amid their circumstances, through birth and beyond. 

My two angels 

I have prayed for forgiveness, and I know that I am forgiven by God. The hardest thing is forgiving myself, but I know that I must. If God forgives me then I have no right condemning myself. While it’s been over 40 yrs. with the first abortion, and over 24 years with the second, I have never forgotten, and the scars are there. They are deeply rooted in my heart forever, but though the open wounds are closed, the scars remain.  

Women who abort children do suffer mental, and emotional pain, and shame at the decision to abort. I am a testimony of one of them, and to this day I still regret while wishing that I could change those choices that I made to abort my babies.  

Share These Stories  

Because of faithful advocates like you, Human Coalition can keep AbortionMemorial.com open as a refuge for anyone carrying abortion-related grief. Every story shared underscores the need for healing that only Christ provides.  

Please share this resource and help make these stories known until abortion becomes unthinkable and unnecessary for every mom. AbortionMemorial.com will be a place for people to shed tears and freely mourn the loss of a preborn loved one.  

Until every heart finds peace and every child is protected, we will keep offering hope, healing, and a place for tears to turn into prayer. Become a rescue partner to so the next child has the opportunity to be saved.