Our culture pushes men out of the discussion of having babies. Once they’re born, that’s another thing, but don’t get men involved in whether a woman should have a baby or not. It’s her body, so it’s her choice — right? Pregnancy is something men are clueless about; they’ll catch up once the baby is born — if he or she is born.
Actually, our culture has played a cruel card to dads when it comes to men being involved in the life of their unborn child.
Actually, our culture has played a cruel card to dads when it comes to men being involved in the life of their unborn child.
The following is a sampling of posts where a variety of experiences and emotions are shared in Human Coalition’s AbortionMemorial.com — a sacred space for honesty, healing, and hope in Christ. This is a unique place where someone can speak openly about the pain of abortion without fear of judgment.
The decision to abort a child is often made by the mom, mostly out of ignorance or desperation:
My Mason or Shelby
My boy or girl, wow today you would have been 7. We decided so quickly to take away your chance of life. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t regret the choice I made, the guilt is unbearable.
In my dreams I see your face, me holding you close to my chest and you feeling safe in your dad’s arms, a way a child should have felt. Instead I made the worse choice of my life. Being young and stupid and scared of consequences led us to losing you. Please find it in you to forgive me. Love you.
My baby boy
It’s been 15 years, and my heart still breaks. I remember hearing your little heart beat on the ultrasound like it was yesterday. Your little ultrasound pic is right next to my bed. Even after the doctor told us you wouldn’t live I still should’ve fought harder to keep you. As your father it’s my job to protect you and I didn’t.
It haunts me at night still thinking about what you must’ve felt and how alone you were. I know God will forgive me, but I really still haven’t forgiven myself. You’re in the arms of Jesus now, and there isn’t a better place to be. Just know that your daddy loves you and I will see you one day.
To My Perfect Child
Your mother and I were in love. Then she became pregnant. We were worried about our future, and we decided to get an abortion.
It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. We told ourselves about every excuse in the book: our future hung in the balance, we needed to get our degrees, we couldn’t afford a child, we were too young to be parents, etc.
We haven’t spoken of it since.
Your mother and I have since married and raised three beautiful children. But I was never really happy. I came to Christ partly because I realized what we did to you was so wrong.
I regret every day not loving you more.
Most of the time it’s the mother’s decision, but the father feels the pain just as well:
Our first child
I hear that it’s the woman’s choice, that men can just walk away.
Believe me, abortion leaves scars on a man, too.
my girlfriend decided on abortion
I was with my girlfriend of 7 months when she found out she was pregnant. I had a house and we both had good paying jobs, and I knew we could make it work, but over the next couple weeks she started thinking differently. She had bigger plans in life, and she wasn’t really sure if she wanted another child. I tried to support her, but I also kept my distance, I really didn’t want to cause a problem when I didn’t see one to begin with. Then she texted me, telling me that she had an abortion.
I was pissed! I tried asking WHY she didn’t tell me BEFORE she did this, but she told me that it was her body, and she didn’t need my permission.
I lost a child, I lost a girlfriend, and I lost another family all because of an abortion.
I did see a therapist for about 6 months. I went through quite a bit of depression and guilt. I would have been a good dad, and I would have been ready.
Annie or Ryan
I look back now after 41 years & still cannot believe what happened. Your mother was advised that I, as your father, had no say & didn’t need to be considered in her decision. The sad thing is that we were not the typical crisis pregnancy. We were both in college, had good jobs & came from affluent families that would have helped us through the initial rough patches of having you sooner than expected.
The fears that we both had about having you early proved to be unfounded. Taking the life of our unborn child for whatever those possibilities might be is never worth the price.
Sorry I couldn’t stop her
Sorry I couldn’t stop her. We were married, We both made good money, had a house. But she saw you as a burden, not a child. But I think about you all the time and hope someday you can forgive me. As a father, I have no rights to stop her. I am sure you are in God’s care, and I pray we will meet someday. You didn’t deserve to die.
I Am A 2X Forgotten Father And Its Killing Me.
I’ve been to many sessions of therapy/counseling, various churches, hours and hours of faith/soul searching, taken many prescribed medicines and nothing can take this sadness away. The sense of loss is incomprehensible. I never had a chance to save them, not one chance.
Guys aren’t supposed to be sad, cry, or weak or affected by things like this. Maybe I’m just too sensitive as I have cried myself to sleep too many nights to count.
Men play a huge role in abortion, whether the mom wants his input or not. And she desperately needs the support of the father to choose life:
Dad to Child
I was 18. Your Mom was twenty-something. We only dated a few weeks. She told me she was pregnant. I freaked out. I was selfish and only thought of myself. I was a young military kid, and she was a Vietnamese immigrant. I wasn’t ready for marriage. My life as an adult had just begun there at Ft. Meade.
She had to terminate the pregnancy. I couldn’t see it any other way. I demanded it. I paid her to have the abortion. She was horrified at the thought of giving up our baby. But she went through with it.
I’m a Christian now. I gave my life to Jesus 2 years after my relationship with your Mom ended. So, if you were aborted, I know I’ll see you in heaven.
God bless you, my child.
Sad Regret
I took my, then girlfriend, to Seattle for an abortion. I was 22 and she was 20. Oh, how I could go back and make the right choice instead of the wrong choice. Our relationship fell apart after that.
Back then I bought into the liberal world view. I thought abortion was a solution to a problem. After becoming a Christian my world view changed completely. I now realize that abortion is not the solution, but it is the problem.
I expect to one day see the baby that we aborted. I believe he is with the Lord.
Letter to My Child
I wish I could know you and I wonder who you are. Maybe now the pain will go away and I will think about you often. I promise our story will be shared more here on this earth so that some other Dad may not make the same decision. I know God wants to use this for His glory and I pray He will do that now.
I am looking forward to meeting you, knowing that when we meet, God will have removed all guilt and pain. We will have a joyful reunion! Praise God for His power to forgive and restore.
Love,
Dad
Sometimes it’s the overwhelming pressure from the outside —– like parents, family members, and friends —– who help make the final decision:
forced by parents and aunts and uncles, the baddest decision you ever make, regrets for ever!!!!
The Summer of 2014. The Mother of my Little Angel, she was 2 Months pregnant. She had made an appointment to PPH to have an Abortion. During that time I tried to stop her, but she was in no mood to think! It was planned to have it. My Heart was broken into pieces, in tears. Rest in heaven my little angel, Dad will always love you in my heart forever, alone.
Planned Parenthood and the abortion industry make abortion seem so casual and continue to lie to men struggling to make the right decision. What joy has been lost to the dads of these babies because of the deception of an abortionist?
to the child i never knew
Sorry I believed the lies of those at Planned Parenthood. I live with the pain of your loss daily. The only comfort I have is that someday I will see you again.
Forgive me,
Dad
Share These Stories
Because of faithful advocates like you, Human Coalition can keep AbortionMemorial.com open as a refuge for anyone carrying abortion-related grief. Every story shared underscores the need for healing that only Christ provides.
Please share this resource and help make these stories known. Until abortion becomes unthinkable and unnecessary, http://www.AbortionMemorial.com will be a place for people to shed tears and freely mourn the loss of a preborn loved one.
Until every heart finds peace and every child is protected, we will keep offering hope, healing, and a place for tears to turn into prayer.
